










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 151 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1505 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,256 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1493 | 35% |
| Smokes | 466 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 1191 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1106 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $811,415 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 220 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trimpman | 50% | 42 |
| #2 | Lixeam | 46% | 89 |
| #3 | Arhy | 45% | 51 |
| #4 | Lapwass | 42% | 38 |
| #5 | SuperGay | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Lixeam | 46% | 89 |
| #3 | Arhy | 45% | 51 |
| #4 | Lapwass | 42% | 38 |
| #5 | SuperGay | 40% | 10 |
| #6 | yde. | 38% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lixeam | 9 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Arhy | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | yde. | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Trimpman | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Lapwass | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lixeam | 422 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #2 | yde. | 279 | 0.36 | 7 min |
| #3 | Trimpman | 104 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Arhy | 59 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Lapwass | 49 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SuperGay | +2.34 | 38 | 56 |
| #2 | Arhy | +1.61 | 13 | 61 |
| #3 | Trimpman | +1.37 | 65 | 63 |
| #4 | MatwOo | +0.02 | 48 | 51 |
| #5 | Lixeam | -0.97 | 37 | 56 |





