










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 178 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 346 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1786 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,786 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1873 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1977 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2244 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1692 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $387,897 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 283 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ajax_1906 | 62% | 37 |
| #2 | Trimpman | 51% | 73 |
| #3 | yde. | 50% | 26 |
| #4 | ReeVey | 49% | 75 |
| #5 | Arhy | 47% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Trimpman | 51% | 73 |
| #3 | yde. | 50% | 26 |
| #4 | ReeVey | 49% | 75 |
| #5 | Arhy | 47% | 92 |
| #6 | Lapwass | 30% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReeVey | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Trimpman | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Arhy | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Lapwass | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | yde. | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReeVey | 304 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | Trimpman | 236 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | yde. | 146 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #4 | Arhy | 129 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ajax_1906 | 96 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReeVey | +2.63 | 82 | 59 |
| #2 | Ajax_1906 | +2.09 | 74 | 57 |
| #3 | SuperGay | +0.45 | 50 | 56 |
| #4 | Arhy | -0.09 | 16 | 63 |
| #5 | Trimpman | -0.74 | 54 | 61 |





