










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
677 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,823 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 897 | 32% |
| Smokes | 816 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 636 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 474 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $265,541 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zaubi | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | Toby | 64% | 25 |
| #3 | [WLS] Schafii | 58% | 31 |
| #4 | martin | 55% | 29 |
| #5 | Max | 54% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [WLS] Schafii | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | martin | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Toby | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Max | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | martin | 47 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #2 | Tekteq | 46 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Aggressive Wachtel | 31 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Toby | 28 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Presk | 20 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zaubi | +1.56 | 27 | 52 |
| #2 | Toasty | +1.53 | 46 | 68 |
| #3 | Toby | +1.32 | 48 | 55 |
| #4 | [WLS] Schafii | +0.96 | 48 | 60 |
| #5 | martin | -0.46 | 54 | 55 |





