








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 42 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
992 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,926 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 597 | 31% |
| Smokes | 772 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 291 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 266 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $115,432 of utility $43 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [KOA] Ooga Booga Man | 54% | 39 |
| #2 | Excel | 50% | 12 |
| #3 | [KOA]Anti-Alias | 49% | 43 |
| #4 | ocelØt | 48% | 52 |
| #5 | Jojo4 | 47% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -sN0W-x | 5 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | [KOA] Ooga Booga Man | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | [KOA] The American Knifemare | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | ocelØt | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Jojo4 | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [KOA] Ooga Booga Man | 111 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | ocelØt | 98 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Jojo4 | 88 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | [KOA] The American Knifemare | 69 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Excel | 55 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ocelØt | +2.42 | 84 | 64 |
| #2 | [KOA] Ooga Booga Man | +2.15 | 51 | 65 |
| #3 | -sN0W-x | +2.13 | 72 | 29 |
| #4 | [KOA]Anti-Alias | +0.41 | 72 | 41 |
| #5 | Peek-A-Boo | +0.20 | 68 | 66 |





