








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 56 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 197 matches | ||
| Wingman | 36 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3815 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,836 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2637 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2072 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2349 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1778 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $456,108 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heidelbergensis | 72% | 36 |
| #2 | 0551 | 66% | 35 |
| #3 | Bilu | 60% | 293 |
| #4 | JamesPotkukelkka | 56% | 63 |
| #5 | JoonataiKa | 56% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 0551 | 66% | 35 |
| #3 | Bilu | 60% | 293 |
| #4 | JamesPotkukelkka | 56% | 63 |
| #5 | JoonataiKa | 56% | 63 |
| #6 | pyrdeli | 55% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bilu | 14 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | JoonataiKa | 9 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | JamesPotkukelkka | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | 0551 | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bilu | 546 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #2 | Heidelbergensis | 174 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #3 | JoonataiKa | 160 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | JamesPotkukelkka | 136 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | pyrdeli | 108 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Propetteri | +5.04 | 90 | 59 |
| #2 | pyrdeli | +0.32 | 69 | 61 |
| #3 | JoonataiKa | -0.13 | 46 | 51 |
| #4 | Bilu | -0.89 | 59 | 48 |
| #5 | 0551 | -1.44 | 43 | 40 |





