










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 672 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 205 matches | ||
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2528 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,308 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2406 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3845 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2740 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3317 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,050,366 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 194 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gunnyr | 68% | 34 |
| #2 | DaPoynus | 66% | 53 |
| #3 | jardinain2 | 65% | 49 |
| #4 | Aux | 61% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gunnyr | 68% | 34 |
| #2 | DaPoynus | 66% | 53 |
| #3 | jardinain2 | 65% | 49 |
| #4 | Aux | 61% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aux | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | DaPoynus | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | jardinain2 | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Gunnyr | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaPoynus | 206 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | Aux | 113 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | jardinain2 | 112 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Gunnyr | 61 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaPoynus | +3.36 | 79 | 70 |
| #2 | jardinain2 | +2.02 | 73 | 63 |
| #3 | UREZ | +0.52 | 73 | 65 |
| #4 | Aux | -0.91 | 34 | 59 |
| #5 | Gunnyr | -1.53 | 55 | 53 |





