








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1766 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 527 matches | ||
| Premier | 471 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8774 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,118 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5633 | 40% |
| Smokes | 2908 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3468 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2109 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,779,515 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1154 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Bidenator | 48% | 614 |
| #4 | Graven | 45% | 83 |
| #5 | camh | 42% | 69 |
| #6 | πΏππ¨ | 42% | 143 |
| #7 | Toyota Corolla | 40% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bidenator | 382 | 0.04 | 8 min |
| #2 | camh | 250 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | Graven | 176 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Toyota Corolla | 176 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | ... | 140 | 0.08 | 3 min |





