








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 138 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 91 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1051 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,809 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 641 | 23% |
| Smokes | 846 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 507 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 815 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $321,873 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JustJoshing | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | [Twitch/Youtube] Thickestboii | 65% | 31 |
| #3 | tom | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | Asenmeister | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JustJoshing | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | [Twitch/Youtube] Thickestboii | 65% | 31 |
| #3 | tom | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | Asenmeister | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Twitch/Youtube] Thickestboii | 195 | 0.29 | 4 min |
| #2 | tom | 52 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #3 | JustJoshing | 30 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | Asenmeister | 11 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | voksi- | +1.60 | 79 | 54 |
| #2 | [Twitch/Youtube] Thickestboii | +0.43 | 65 | 63 |
| #3 | JustJoshing | -0.26 | 67 | 49 |
| #4 | Asenmeister | -0.96 | 74 | 59 |
| #5 | tom | -2.11 | 68 | 70 |





