








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 109 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1005 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,528 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1247 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1526 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1118 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 637 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $235,124 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 681 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sebbo | 64% | 25 |
| #2 | TheSmoothOneツ | 50% | 16 |
| #3 | Jesus..Doop | 47% | 15 |
| #4 | A&A | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sebbo | 64% | 25 |
| #2 | TheSmoothOneツ | 50% | 16 |
| #3 | Jesus..Doop | 47% | 15 |
| #4 | A&A | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheSmoothOneツ | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesus..Doop | 39 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #2 | Sebbo | 26 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | A&A | 25 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | TheSmoothOneツ | 12 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesus..Doop | +0.76 | 83 | 62 |
| #2 | Pablo Escobar 2.0 | +0.40 | 63 | 59 |
| #3 | Sebbo | -0.51 | 51 | 45 |
| #4 | TheSmoothOneツ | -2.40 | 59 | 37 |
| #5 | A&A | -2.83 | 75 | 81 |





