








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 199 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 99 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1719 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,488 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 514 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1176 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 683 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1115 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $904,027 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 183 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝔪𝔞𝔵 | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | Pablo Escobar 2.0 | 64% | 25 |
| #3 | jussa | 42% | 36 |
| #4 | unqii | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝔪𝔞𝔵 | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | Pablo Escobar 2.0 | 64% | 25 |
| #3 | jussa | 42% | 36 |
| #4 | unqii | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pablo Escobar 2.0 | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pablo Escobar 2.0 | 110 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | jussa | 61 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | 𝔪𝔞𝔵 | 9 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | unqii | 5 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sebbo | +1.41 | 71 | 39 |
| #2 | jussa | +0.83 | 79 | 55 |
| #3 | 𝔪𝔞𝔵 | +0.71 | 84 | 59 |
| #4 | Pablo Escobar 2.0 | +0.52 | 60 | 60 |
| #5 | unqii | -0.16 | 73 | 41 |





