








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 966 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 54 matches | ||
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4102 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,108 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1577 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3262 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3192 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2077 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,288,709 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1190 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TELETUBBY | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | Ridex | 60% | 30 |
| #3 | ninjaman | 59% | 41 |
| #4 | 100 | 58% | 31 |
| #5 | Pirn | 57% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | PapaSaar | 52% | 21 |
| #8 | karla (cybersport athlete) | 49% | 39 |
| #9 | N | 47% | 57 |
| #10 | Joonasslayer | 47% | 53 |
| #11 | KrisK | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joonasslayer | 10 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | ninjaman | 6 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | karla (cybersport athlete) | 6 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | KrisK | 5 | 0.0102 |
| #5 | 100 | 4 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | karla (cybersport athlete) | 156 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | ninjaman | 51 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | TELETUBBY | 34 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Joonasslayer | 26 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | 100 | 18 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Executioner | +4.26 | 77 | 61 |
| #2 | Ridex | +2.04 | 59 | 35 |
| #3 | ninjaman | +1.13 | 82 | 46 |
| #4 | 100 | +1.08 | 64 | 31 |
| #5 | karla (cybersport athlete) | +0.76 | 68 | 69 |





