








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 303 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 505 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7420 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,996 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3117 | 17% |
| Smokes | 5188 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5453 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4238 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,386,173 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2306 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | free haircuts | 74% | 172 |
| #2 | β Leon β | 73% | 77 |
| #3 | βπΎβπβπΈππΌ | 73% | 132 |
| #4 | βΟsycΠ½ΰΉβ 666 | 70% | 66 |
| #5 | Bunny Fufuu | 68% | 109 |





