










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 146 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1919 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,526 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1153 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1589 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1543 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1241 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $903,935 of utility $211 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 290 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toji ⚡ | 75% | 20 |
| #2 | dig | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | Lucki | 57% | 46 |
| #4 | p34k | 56% | 66 |
| #5 | Waitingkill H20 | 55% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | ⛧Cheese⛧ | 50% | 24 |
| #11 | SharkTV2k | 48% | 33 |
| #12 | Dasko | 47% | 45 |
| #13 | ✪NLK2123✪ | 43% | 23 |
| #14 | Tor | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TIMMAH ♿ | 865 | 0.26 | 23 min |
| #2 | Lucki | 326 | 0.31 | 7 min |
| #3 | Dasko | 269 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #4 | p34k | 190 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Waitingkill H20 | 93 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toji ⚡ | +2.33 | 72 | 78 |
| #2 | Tor | +2.19 | 75 | 65 |
| #3 | Dasko | +1.96 | 70 | 65 |
| #4 | TIMMAH ♿ | +1.69 | 78 | 68 |
| #5 | Lucki | +1.06 | 64 | 51 |





