








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 60 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 39 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1083 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,928 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 334 | 17% |
| Smokes | 410 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 635 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 549 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $345,261 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YaZ ツ | 43 | 0.0236 |
| #2 | Pillu - Jar1 | 38 | 0.0194 |
| #3 | FreeCandy | 7 | 0.0385 |
| #4 | ?P | 6 | 0.0183 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FreeCandy | +15.41 | 100 | 40 |
| #2 | ?P | +3.81 | 98 | 17 |
| #3 | Mika Häkkinen | +2.73 | 56 | 46 |
| #4 | YaZ ツ | +1.18 | 94 | 50 |
| #5 | anteri | +0.18 | 72 | 45 |





