








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 416 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1923 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,970 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2069 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1977 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2672 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3252 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,482,071 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 152 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | deaux | 41% | 27 |
| #4 | b4k3d -iwnl-. Daddy (#psychward) | 40% | 277 |
| #5 | Carlin Select Oil Burner | 40% | 289 |
| #6 | IdekPanda | 39% | 185 |
| #7 | NotCarlos | 38% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carlin Select Oil Burner | 34 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | b4k3d -iwnl-. Daddy (#psychward) | 27 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | IdekPanda | 14 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | deaux | 9 | 0.0152 |
| #5 | Chadkiller1234 | 5 | 0.0013 |





