










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 842 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6626 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,426 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7655 | 39% |
| Smokes | 6146 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1143 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 4482 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,868,053 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 885 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | IdekPanda | 46% | 237 |
| #5 | SoniaShampoo | 45% | 49 |
| #6 | Chadkiller1234 | 44% | 245 |
| #7 | deaux | 42% | 48 |
| #8 | Larry Wide Stance Craig | 40% | 277 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carlin Select Oil Burner | 58 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Larry Wide Stance Craig | 21 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | deaux | 17 | 0.0167 |
| #4 | IdekPanda | 14 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Chadkiller1234 | 3 | 0.0006 |





