








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1624 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 964 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 182 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 149 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 40 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 112 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




84 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14854 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 39,419 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5596 | 14% |
| Smokes | 5842 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 13012 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 14969 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $6,466,291 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1713 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ØKarmaInEffect | 43% | 269 |
| #4 | Undefined | 42% | 407 |
| #5 | bear | 42% | 139 |
| #6 | Multi | 40% | 316 |
| #7 | delulu | 38% | 244 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Multi | 1768 | 0.28 | 27 min |
| #2 | Undefined | 694 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #3 | amewah | 527 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #4 | ØKarmaInEffect | 362 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #5 | bear | 231 | 0.09 | 5 min |





