








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 191 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 110 matches | ||
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




577 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5918 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,839 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14100 | 53% |
| Smokes | 6838 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2818 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 3083 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $292,137 of utility $19 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3633 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OwOendMe | 48% | 141 |
| #2 | ØKarmaInEffect | 40% | 65 |
| #3 | amewah | 40% | 144 |
| #4 | BIGRAT | 40% | 316 |
| #5 | Undefined | 36% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OwOendMe | 48% | 141 |
| #2 | ØKarmaInEffect | 40% | 65 |
| #3 | amewah | 40% | 144 |
| #4 | BIGRAT | 40% | 316 |
| #5 | Undefined | 36% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OwOendMe | 46 | 0.0172 |
| #2 | amewah | 38 | 0.0135 |
| #3 | ØKarmaInEffect | 32 | 0.0248 |
| #4 | Undefined | 26 | 0.0176 |
| #5 | BIGRAT | 14 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OwOendMe | 557 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #2 | amewah | 180 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | BIGRAT | 145 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| #4 | Undefined | 116 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | ØKarmaInEffect | 97 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ØKarmaInEffect | +3.10 | 81 | 44 |
| #2 | OwOendMe | +2.82 | 56 | 44 |
| #3 | Undefined | +2.54 | 47 | 36 |
| #4 | amewah | +0.27 | 46 | 42 |
| #5 | Multi | -1.62 | 44 | 35 |





