








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 171 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1823 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,630 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1844 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2484 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2387 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1915 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $570,031 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vinkel | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | .coffee | 51% | 89 |
| #3 | voy | 50% | 62 |
| #4 | GARTENKRALLE GOLD | 49% | 176 |
| #5 | Haramisalami | 44% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | voy | 50% | 62 |
| #4 | GARTENKRALLE GOLD | 49% | 176 |
| #5 | Haramisalami | 44% | 73 |
| #6 | kivzera | 42% | 33 |
| #7 | Röööm | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kivzera | 14 | 0.0212 |
| #2 | GARTENKRALLE GOLD | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | .coffee | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Haramisalami | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | voy | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GARTENKRALLE GOLD | 885 | 0.24 | 24 min |
| #2 | kivzera | 202 | 0.31 | 5 min |
| #3 | .coffee | 143 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Haramisalami | 135 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | voy | 122 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GARTENKRALLE GOLD | +3.14 | 81 | 70 |
| #2 | kivzera | +0.85 | 82 | 70 |
| #3 | Haramisalami | +0.03 | 74 | 59 |
| #4 | .coffee | -0.50 | 59 | 61 |
| #5 | Vinkel | -0.82 | 60 | 70 |





