








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 59 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 248 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7253 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,837 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7406 | 32% |
| Smokes | 6775 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4192 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 4464 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,578,820 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 146 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vinkel | 62% | 34 |
| #2 | flPP | 55% | 47 |
| #3 | KAUFLAND | 49% | 176 |
| #4 | Haramisalami | 46% | 136 |
| #5 | .coffee | 46% | 235 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Haramisalami | 46% | 136 |
| #5 | .coffee | 46% | 235 |
| #6 | voy | 44% | 91 |
| #7 | kivzera | 43% | 58 |
| #8 | Röööm | 32% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kivzera | 16 | 0.0139 |
| #2 | .coffee | 10 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | KAUFLAND | 10 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | voy | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Haramisalami | 5 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .coffee | 429 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #2 | kivzera | 373 | 0.32 | 9 min |
| #3 | KAUFLAND | 369 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #4 | Haramisalami | 288 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | voy | 197 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flPP | +4.15 | 86 | 70 |
| #2 | GARTENKRALLE GOLD | +2.37 | 79 | 68 |
| #3 | kivzera | +0.35 | 79 | 67 |
| #4 | Haramisalami | -0.55 | 66 | 62 |
| #5 | Vinkel | -0.86 | 63 | 71 |





