








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 132 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




158 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5896 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,320 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4376 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4137 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2042 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 4765 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $966,092 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 154 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lulu♕ | 57% | 60 |
| #2 | ⌞[𝐄]𝐳𝐙[𝐄]⌝ | 54% | 59 |
| #3 | tucreesenmiツ | 52% | 194 |
| #4 | Niko__3 | 48% | 227 |
| #5 | Pepe Argento | 45% | 156 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pepe Argento | 74 | 0.0238 |
| #2 | Niko__3 | 38 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | ELEKADEツ | 36 | 0.0113 |
| #4 | tucreesenmiツ | 19 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | ⌞[𝐄]𝐳𝐙[𝐄]⌝ | 10 | 0.0088 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tucreesenmiツ | 728 | 0.19 | 17 min |
| #2 | ELEKADEツ | 566 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #3 | Niko__3 | 513 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #4 | Pepe Argento | 298 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | lulu♕ | 151 | 0.13 | 3 min |





