








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 242 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4098 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,616 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3172 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2365 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2146 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1933 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,148,606 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 144 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Janeckin | 53% | 165 |
| #2 | Wolfies | 48% | 23 |
| #3 | Swag | 48% | 65 |
| #4 | SwaG | 45% | 64 |
| #5 | Kumivene Soodu | 45% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Wolfies | 48% | 23 |
| #3 | Swag | 48% | 65 |
| #4 | SwaG | 45% | 64 |
| #5 | Kumivene Soodu | 45% | 40 |
| #6 | Kermiss | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Janeckin | 15 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Swag | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | SwaG | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Kumivene Soodu | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | Kermiss | 4 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Janeckin | 484 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | SwaG | 212 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | Swag | 176 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Kermiss | 67 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Kumivene Soodu | 41 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ww | +2.03 | 64 | 55 |
| #2 | SwaG | +0.30 | 63 | 59 |
| #3 | Kermiss | -0.59 | 71 | 48 |
| #4 | Swag | -1.09 | 62 | 60 |
| #5 | Janeckin | -1.25 | 66 | 67 |





