








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
200 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 520 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 169 | 33% |
| Smokes | 132 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 113 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 106 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $33,898 of utility $45 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donkey | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | Melon | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Knees | 47% | 15 |
| #4 | Vache | 40% | 5 |
| #5 | StreetyLs | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StreetyLs | 3 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | NAAN_FAN | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Knees | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Melon | 1 | 0.0200 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StreetyLs | 59 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #2 | NAAN_FAN | 33 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Donkey | 32 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #4 | Knees | 24 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Vache | 14 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Melon | +11.41 | 87 | 56 |
| #2 | Donkey | +9.48 | 77 | 53 |
| #3 | Vache | +3.71 | 73 | 50 |
| #4 | StreetyLs | +1.40 | 48 | 44 |
| #5 | Knees | +0.33 | 38 | 30 |





