








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
240 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 321 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 120 | 37% |
| Smokes | 150 | 47% |
| HE Grenades | 31 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 20 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $20,978 of utility $29 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Melon | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | Donkey | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | Knees | 38% | 16 |
| #4 | StreetyLs | 32% | 28 |
| #5 | Bennybooboo | 32% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StreetyLs | 3 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Bennybooboo | 3 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Donkey | 2 | 0.0172 |
| #4 | Knees | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StreetyLs | 64 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | Bennybooboo | 42 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | Donkey | 27 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #4 | Knees | 21 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | Vache | 17 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Melon | +11.16 | 81 | 58 |
| #2 | Donkey | +7.10 | 79 | 54 |
| #3 | Vache | +2.70 | 61 | 55 |
| #4 | StreetyLs | +0.53 | 45 | 48 |
| #5 | Knees | -0.87 | 33 | 38 |





