








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 497 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 336 matches | ||
| Faceit | 69 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3703 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,899 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3285 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3970 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2271 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2373 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,020,645 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 223 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JeePPa | 60% | 35 |
| #2 | denss1 | 59% | 27 |
| #3 | nandis | 52% | 87 |
| #4 | Ruoska | 48% | 54 |
| #5 | rq | 48% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nandis | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | rq | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | K3sis | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | JeePPa | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Ruoska | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K3sis | 336 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #2 | rq | 317 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #3 | Ruoska | 193 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | JeePPa | 182 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | JeePPa | 76 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JeePPa | +2.21 | 59 | 72 |
| #2 | JeePPa | +2.17 | 71 | 72 |
| #3 | Ruoska | +1.92 | 74 | 70 |
| #4 | rq | +1.46 | 73 | 76 |
| #5 | Denssi | +0.41 | 81 | 55 |





