








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 469 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 199 matches | ||
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 94 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




94 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4618 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,075 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3124 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1378 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 3460 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4113 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $669,894 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 948 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nekilia | 907 | 0.16 | 21 min |
| #2 | ahogan543 | 630 | 0.08 | 15 min |
| #3 | Who¿ | 375 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #4 | Cheesenut_Buttercake | 217 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Luctus | 168 | 0.18 | 4 min |





