








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
631 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,250 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 368 | 16% |
| Smokes | 644 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 697 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 541 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $335,716 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stax | 50% | 8 |
| #2 | SonFy | 50% | 16 |
| #3 | sheyy | 48% | 25 |
| #4 | JesusMean | 42% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stax | 50% | 8 |
| #2 | SonFy | 50% | 16 |
| #3 | sheyy | 48% | 25 |
| #4 | JesusMean | 42% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JesusMean | 10 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | sheyy | 6 | 0.0115 |
| #3 | SonFy | 3 | 0.0090 |
| #4 | Stax | 2 | 0.0147 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JesusMean | 224 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | SonFy | 58 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | sheyy | 55 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Stax | 15 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stax | +2.12 | 92 | 63 |
| #2 | sheyy | +1.93 | 83 | 43 |
| #3 | JesusMean | +1.33 | 67 | 66 |
| #4 | SonFy | +1.01 | 77 | 53 |
| #5 | iamluckyz | -1.15 | 46 | 56 |





