








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1031 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 216 matches | 1,915 | |
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3720 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,373 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4178 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4473 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2842 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3880 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,578,939 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 312 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thelungt | 58% | 122 |
| #2 | MARRE | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | skjert | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | Zolide: yes free in grave | 53% | 93 |
| #5 | '-' t4rdboy | 48% | 163 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | '-' t4rdboy | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Zolide: yes free in grave | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | jocke med kniven | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Thelungt | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | skjert | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | '-' t4rdboy | 365 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | Thelungt | 273 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | Zolide: yes free in grave | 174 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Awe | 106 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | skjert | 88 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zolide: yes free in grave | +3.10 | 81 | 66 |
| #2 | Awe | +2.12 | 76 | 57 |
| #3 | Thelungt | +1.06 | 68 | 68 |
| #4 | jocke med kniven | +0.98 | 64 | 48 |
| #5 | skjert | +0.36 | 72 | 74 |





