








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 701 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Esplay | 73 matches | 2,053 | |
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2955 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,930 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1917 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1848 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2964 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2201 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $547,259 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 606 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thelungt | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | RwE | 54% | 26 |
| #3 | MARRE | 53% | 119 |
| #4 | шведский | tram | 53% | 93 |
| #5 | '-' t4rdboy | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | MARRE | 53% | 119 |
| #4 | шведский | tram | 53% | 93 |
| #5 | '-' t4rdboy | 50% | 20 |
| #6 | ZaraBiceps | 50% | 22 |
| #7 | ☻ | 48% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☻ | 18 | 0.0199 |
| #2 | ZaraBiceps | 6 | 0.0153 |
| #3 | MARRE | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | RwE | 4 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | Thelungt | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MARRE | 332 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | шведский | tram | 207 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | ☻ | 155 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | ZaraBiceps | 84 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | Thelungt | 40 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zolide: yes free in grave | +2.79 | 80 | 64 |
| #2 | ☻ | +1.07 | 89 | 60 |
| #3 | ZaraBiceps | -0.27 | 56 | 49 |
| #4 | Thelungt | -0.45 | 60 | 71 |
| #5 | шведский | tram | -0.54 | 75 | 65 |





