








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 207 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 97 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1634 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,544 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2363 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3635 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3007 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2539 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,194,961 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 198 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Q-Plan?! | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | Pombär1312 | 61% | 69 |
| #3 | Cuterus | 50% | 54 |
| #4 | strob0.oᴮᴼᵀ | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | Endgegner | 48% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | strob0.oᴮᴼᵀ | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | Endgegner | 48% | 48 |
| #6 | HierKönnteEinNameStehe | 45% | 100 |
| #7 | Shoxie | 38% | 157 |
| #8 | ✪ Hornibu ^v^ | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shoxie | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Cuterus | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | HierKönnteEinNameStehe | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | strob0.oᴮᴼᵀ | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | ✪ Hornibu ^v^ | 2 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shoxie | 670 | 0.21 | 19 min |
| #2 | Pombär1312 | 278 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #3 | Cuterus | 116 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | HierKönnteEinNameStehe | 107 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | strob0.oᴮᴼᵀ | 85 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pombär1312 | +3.98 | 60 | 72 |
| #2 | strob0.oᴮᴼᵀ | +2.60 | 87 | 71 |
| #3 | ✪ Hornibu ^v^ | +2.12 | 75 | 71 |
| #4 | Shoxie | +1.67 | 59 | 73 |
| #5 | Cuterus | +1.42 | 84 | 66 |





