








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1327 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,886 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 756 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1622 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1282 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1226 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $520,808 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pombär1312 | 63% | 49 |
| #2 | Jumy | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | Cuterus | 47% | 59 |
| #4 | yt.com/ShadowWalker | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | Endgegner | 46% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Endgegner | 46% | 41 |
| #6 | Rayzon #Hodenkobold | 45% | 100 |
| #7 | strob0.oᴮᴼᵀ | 44% | 39 |
| #8 | Shoxie | 42% | 123 |
| #9 | ✪ Hornibu ^v^ | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shoxie | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Cuterus | 6 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Rayzon #Hodenkobold | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | strob0.oᴮᴼᵀ | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Endgegner | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shoxie | 496 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #2 | Rayzon #Hodenkobold | 209 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Pombär1312 | 193 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | Cuterus | 118 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | strob0.oᴮᴼᵀ | 97 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pombär1312 | +5.21 | 62 | 73 |
| #2 | Jumy | +3.03 | 49 | 51 |
| #3 | ✪ Hornibu ^v^ | +2.42 | 84 | 73 |
| #4 | Cuterus | +2.11 | 86 | 70 |
| #5 | yt.com/ShadowWalker | +1.93 | 53 | 58 |





