








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 928 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6335 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,385 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3625 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3357 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3529 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1874 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,315,900 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 294 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lion Forest | 56% | 61 |
| #2 | kerwood | 52% | 343 |
| #3 | The Freak | 52% | 166 |
| #4 | Sickness | 50% | 200 |
| #5 | b6ian | 47% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b6ian | 17 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | kerwood | 10 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | The Freak | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Sickness | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Lion Forest | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kerwood | 810 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #2 | The Freak | 697 | 0.21 | 18 min |
| #3 | Sickness | 361 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #4 | b6ian | 361 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #5 | Lion Forest | 318 | 0.27 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Freak | +2.50 | 69 | 69 |
| #2 | kerwood | +2.16 | 81 | 62 |
| #3 | Lion Forest | +1.93 | 59 | 70 |
| #4 | Morello | +0.71 | 68 | 48 |
| #5 | Sickness | -0.27 | 72 | 61 |





