








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1341 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 225 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 90 matches | ||
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9670 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,751 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7076 | 24% |
| Smokes | 9643 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 7098 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5934 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,894,789 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sickness | 53% | 623 |
| #2 | Morello | 52% | 343 |
| #3 | The Freak | 52% | 126 |
| #4 | impl3x | 50% | 52 |
| #5 | b6ian | 49% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sickness | 53% | 623 |
| #2 | Morello | 52% | 343 |
| #3 | The Freak | 52% | 126 |
| #4 | impl3x | 50% | 52 |
| #5 | b6ian | 49% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sickness | 18 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Morello | 15 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | The Freak | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | b6ian | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | impl3x | 3 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sickness | 1117 | 0.09 | 29 min |
| #2 | Morello | 647 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #3 | The Freak | 496 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #4 | b6ian | 216 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | impl3x | 172 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kerwood | +2.07 | 81 | 63 |
| #2 | The Freak | +1.48 | 69 | 67 |
| #3 | impl3x | +1.23 | 65 | 70 |
| #4 | Morello | -0.01 | 68 | 49 |
| #5 | Sickness | -0.08 | 73 | 59 |





