








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1099 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 691 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




185 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9018 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,338 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8667 | 30% |
| Smokes | 7991 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6978 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5702 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,813,555 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1756 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnny | 49% | 115 |
| #2 | ZebraNut1! | 46% | 306 |
| #3 | TTV: McGubbinsLive | 43% | 177 |
| #4 | Doug GimmieDome | 38% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnny | 49% | 115 |
| #2 | ZebraNut1! | 46% | 306 |
| #3 | TTV: McGubbinsLive | 43% | 177 |
| #4 | Doug GimmieDome | 38% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TTV: McGubbinsLive | 58 | 0.0161 |
| #2 | ZebraNut1! | 38 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Johnny | 10 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Doug GimmieDome | 6 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TTV: McGubbinsLive | 943 | 0.26 | 22 min |
| #2 | ZebraNut1! | 580 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #3 | Doug GimmieDome | 122 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Johnny | 119 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doug GimmieDome | +2.55 | 73 | 52 |
| #2 | Xans_Alpha | +1.43 | 80 | 65 |
| #3 | ZebraNut1! | +0.30 | 42 | 50 |
| #4 | Johnny | -0.30 | 47 | 49 |
| #5 | TTV: McGubbinsLive | -2.76 | 28 | 55 |





