








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1786 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,260 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 962 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1013 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 560 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 725 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $691,945 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | recker710 | 53% | 17 |
| #2 | Xans_Alpha | 49% | 115 |
| #3 | TTV: McGubbinsLive | 42% | 33 |
| #4 | ZebraNut1! | 39% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | recker710 | 53% | 17 |
| #2 | Xans_Alpha | 49% | 115 |
| #3 | TTV: McGubbinsLive | 42% | 33 |
| #4 | ZebraNut1! | 39% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xans_Alpha | 32 | 0.0146 |
| #2 | TTV: McGubbinsLive | 13 | 0.0184 |
| #3 | ZebraNut1! | 4 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xans_Alpha | 303 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | TTV: McGubbinsLive | 254 | 0.36 | 6 min |
| #3 | ZebraNut1! | 69 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | recker710 | 7 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xans_Alpha | +2.08 | 83 | 59 |
| #2 | ZebraNut1! | +1.33 | 42 | 44 |
| #3 | Johnny | -0.07 | 50 | 50 |
| #4 | TTV: McGubbinsLive | -2.64 | 38 | 55 |
| #5 | recker710 | -3.09 | 20 | 32 |





