








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 52 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 150 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2370 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,638 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1848 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2246 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2125 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2419 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $704,429 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 272 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gabel | 55% | 73 |
| #2 | shamus | 52% | 67 |
| #3 | olliedum | 47% | 53 |
| #4 | Sid | 44% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gabel | 55% | 73 |
| #2 | shamus | 52% | 67 |
| #3 | olliedum | 47% | 53 |
| #4 | Sid | 44% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gabel | 20 | 0.0133 |
| #2 | shamus | 14 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | Sid | 12 | 0.0139 |
| #4 | olliedum | 11 | 0.0107 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | olliedum | 259 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #2 | Sid | 151 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | shamus | 142 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | gabel | 124 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shamus | +2.54 | 85 | 63 |
| #2 | Mikeykillz | +2.44 | 73 | 53 |
| #3 | olliedum | +1.35 | 86 | 69 |
| #4 | gabel | +0.31 | 59 | 52 |
| #5 | Sid | -0.02 | 71 | 57 |





