








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 434 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 420 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4684 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,522 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6960 | 31% |
| Smokes | 6149 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4250 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 5163 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,182,040 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 547 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flobba420 | 64% | 69 |
| #2 | ◢◤ J4ck ◢◤ | 64% | 124 |
| #3 | 5h4rpy | 63% | 104 |
| #4 | Sid | 58% | 267 |
| #5 | Bowski | 56% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Bowski | 56% | 95 |
| #6 | shamus | 54% | 174 |
| #7 | p4905 | 50% | 82 |
| #8 | gabel | 50% | 227 |
| #9 | Mikeykillz | 47% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gabel | 23 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Sid | 22 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | shamus | 12 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Mikeykillz | 8 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | ◢◤ J4ck ◢◤ | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sid | 913 | 0.16 | 21 min |
| #2 | 5h4rpy | 413 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #3 | ◢◤ J4ck ◢◤ | 401 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #4 | Flobba420 | 401 | 0.27 | 9 min |
| #5 | p4905 | 380 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flobba420 | +4.92 | 68 | 47 |
| #2 | p4905 | +2.58 | 79 | 73 |
| #3 | shamus | +1.46 | 80 | 57 |
| #4 | ◢◤ J4ck ◢◤ | +1.25 | 75 | 57 |
| #5 | olliedum | +1.04 | 83 | 70 |





