








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 116 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 321 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2644 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,921 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3386 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2669 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2350 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2516 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $372,040 of utility $42 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 258 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | itachi | 42% | 52 |
| #6 | WA GE | 42% | 67 |
| #7 | Tomato | 40% | 57 |
| #8 | Monsieur Monkey | 32% | 28 |
| #9 | Mr PewPewMaster | 31% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mangoman_ZA | 24 | 0.0122 |
| #2 | Tomato | 13 | 0.0125 |
| #3 | WA GE | 8 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | itachi | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Monsieur Monkey | 3 | 0.0053 |





