








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 702 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5959 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,666 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6740 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3024 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 4561 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4341 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,063,315 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 396 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Preยงยง | 67% | 36 |
| #2 | ๐ฎ๐๐๐๐๐ | 66% | 116 |
| #3 | 2Goldfish | 59% | 217 |
| #4 | psyman | 56% | 64 |
| #5 | Loyal To The Foil โโฅ | 56% | 41 |





