








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 691 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1107 matches | ||
| Wingman | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 160 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5569 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,424 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2096 | 8% |
| Smokes | 6507 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 9746 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 8075 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,448,403 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 141 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WillBeBackSoon | 40% | 141 |
| #2 | theothefrog | 39% | 112 |
| #3 | jason bourne | 39% | 121 |
| #4 | FalCon | 39% | 210 |
| #5 | »T€TR@ | 35% | 607 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FalCon | 28 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | »T€TR@ | 26 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Roots | 11 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | theothefrog | 11 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | jason bourne | 8 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roots | 193 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #2 | »T€TR@ | 174 | 0.01 | 4 min |
| #3 | FalCon | 163 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | Memento mori ☠ | 154 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Doggy_Boy - | 104 | 0.04 | 3 min |





