








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 212 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2425 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,917 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3623 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3432 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3107 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2755 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $371,959 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Aza | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | rvns | 52% | 82 |
| #3 | Gerplay | 48% | 95 |
| #4 | Zedien | 48% | 29 |
| #5 | SPTR | 47% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Gerplay | 48% | 95 |
| #4 | Zedien | 48% | 29 |
| #5 | SPTR | 47% | 132 |
| #6 | .-m-. | 47% | 103 |
| #7 | lev1 | 45% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lev1 | 9 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | Gerplay | 8 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | SPTR | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | rvns | 7 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | .-m-. | 6 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gerplay | 253 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | rvns | 223 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | lev1 | 207 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | .-m-. | 105 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | SPTR | 65 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .-m-. | +1.92 | 79 | 49 |
| #2 | _-_CeBroX_-_ | +1.12 | 88 | 65 |
| #3 | Gerplay | +0.16 | 56 | 57 |
| #4 | Mr Aza | -0.28 | 68 | 50 |
| #5 | lev1 | -0.41 | 62 | 58 |





