








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 244 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Wingman | 36 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2612 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,469 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2185 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2601 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2201 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1482 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $631,547 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 225 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D0m1r | 72% | 25 |
| #2 | Zxyz | 65% | 48 |
| #3 | gumbox | 63% | 35 |
| #4 | Gustavo Almodovar (chunkzizy) | 62% | 37 |
| #5 | AGJ Strzelecc | 62% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DAWIDKE | 180 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #2 | Gustavo Almodovar (chunkzizy) | 111 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | AGJ Strzelecc | 97 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | D0m1r | 97 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | DawideeQ*g4skins | 79 | 0.08 | 1 min |





