








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 103 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1966 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,086 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4015 | 36% |
| Smokes | 452 | 4% |
| HE Grenades | 4199 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 2420 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $497,794 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JokicSunshine | 62% | 37 |
| #2 | gumbox | 50% | 22 |
| #3 | POKAŻ MI SWOJE TOWARY | 47% | 175 |
| #4 | DAWIDKE | 46% | 125 |
| #5 | AGJ Strzelecc | 45% | 115 |





