








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 180 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1765 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,077 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1726 | 34% |
| Smokes | 925 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1326 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1100 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $411,477 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | | 76% | 17 |
| #2 | Leviathan | 63% | 35 |
| #3 | MarXsman | 62% | 21 |
| #4 | XiX^ | 62% | 34 |
| #5 | SarkLv | 62% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Leviathan | 63% | 35 |
| #3 | MarXsman | 62% | 21 |
| #4 | XiX^ | 62% | 34 |
| #5 | SarkLv | 62% | 13 |
| #6 | Grimple | 58% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XiX^ | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Leviathan | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | MarXsman | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leviathan | 149 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #2 | XiX^ | 89 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | | 53 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | MarXsman | 47 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | SarkLv | 19 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | | +3.15 | 67 | 67 |
| #2 | Fume | +2.11 | 75 | 56 |
| #3 | MarXsman | +0.48 | 60 | 72 |
| #4 | Leviathan | +0.13 | 78 | 44 |
| #5 | XiX^ | -0.53 | 77 | 63 |





