








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 109 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1047 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,577 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 445 | 17% |
| Smokes | 486 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1055 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 591 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $763,577 of utility $229 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Örkinrumilus | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞ 🍌⛟ | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | Scorbutus | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | Linkki | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | Gefaus | 52% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jogeribogeri | 7 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | ranu | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Jigglypuff | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Jupa | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Örkinrumilus | 2 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b0ris | +4.56 | 64 | 67 |
| #2 | Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞ 🍌⛟ | +4.30 | 90 | 49 |
| #3 | TakuPulla | +2.61 | 59 | 63 |
| #4 | Scorbutus | +2.42 | 69 | 71 |
| #5 | Linkki | +2.11 | 58 | 43 |





