








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 431 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 236 matches | ||
| Wingman | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3263 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,297 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2617 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2818 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3114 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2748 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,518,039 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 230 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Jogeribogeri | 40% | 78 |
| #13 | Pepperoni pizza with garlic | 39% | 46 |
| #14 | ranu | 39% | 90 |
| #15 | b0ris | 37% | 38 |
| #16 | Mèl | 32% | 59 |





