








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
502 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,212 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 483 | 40% |
| Smokes | 243 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 265 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 221 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $92,654 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thimböörlie | 100% | 6 |
| #2 | 𝙿.𝙽死 | 79% | 19 |
| #3 | Benjoströgkungen | 73% | 11 |
| #4 | Evalsaggin69 | 60% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thimböörlie | 100% | 6 |
| #2 | 𝙿.𝙽死 | 79% | 19 |
| #3 | Benjoströgkungen | 73% | 11 |
| #4 | Evalsaggin69 | 60% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝙿.𝙽死 | 3 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | Evalsaggin69 | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Benjoströgkungen | 1 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Thimböörlie | 1 | 0.0099 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benjoströgkungen | 38 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #2 | 𝙿.𝙽死 | 31 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #3 | Evalsaggin69 | 29 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thimböörlie | +3.03 | 86 | 24 |
| #2 | YOU LOOK LONELY | +2.68 | 85 | 58 |
| #3 | 𝙿.𝙽死 | -0.87 | 61 | 36 |
| #4 | Benjoströgkungen | -1.48 | 64 | 62 |
| #5 | Evalsaggin69 | -1.83 | 43 | 26 |





