








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 591 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 592 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 100 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4566 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,449 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7313 | 31% |
| Smokes | 6551 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5962 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3623 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,019,149 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1121 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mYnna | 54% | 35 |
| #2 | Siggas | 50% | 169 |
| #3 | StokholmSyndromet | 50% | 64 |
| #4 | [VND]Splif | 47% | 88 |
| #5 | 666LUCIFER666 | 45% | 202 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Siggas | 14 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | 666LUCIFER666 | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Grumpy Public Enemy No.1 (o)(o) | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | StokholmSyndromet | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | 🅶🆁🆄🅼🅿🆈 | 4 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Siggas | 681 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #2 | Flo✗ ヅ | 343 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #3 | 🅶🆁🆄🅼🅿🆈 | 298 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | Grumpy Public Enemy No.1 (o)(o) | 244 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | 666LUCIFER666 | 204 | 0.05 | 5 min |





