








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 66 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2454 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,942 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2083 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2114 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2561 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1184 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $459,462 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7-15-8-12-9-10 | 58% | 65 |
| #2 | Psirex | 54% | 24 |
| #3 | RLStormtrooper | 47% | 94 |
| #4 | Psirex v2 | 44% | 192 |
| #5 | Deez | 43% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Psirex | 54% | 24 |
| #3 | RLStormtrooper | 47% | 94 |
| #4 | Psirex v2 | 44% | 192 |
| #5 | Deez | 43% | 128 |
| #6 | Con..r | 27% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Psirex v2 | 32 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | 7-15-8-12-9-10 | 14 | 0.0110 |
| #3 | Deez | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | RLStormtrooper | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Con..r | 2 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Psirex v2 | 505 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #2 | Deez | 186 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | 7-15-8-12-9-10 | 147 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | RLStormtrooper | 77 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Con..r | 76 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7-15-8-12-9-10 | +3.59 | 69 | 57 |
| #2 | Psirex | +3.51 | 82 | 40 |
| #3 | Psirex v2 | +2.86 | 69 | 55 |
| #4 | tinka | +0.18 | 66 | 60 |
| #5 | Deez | -2.51 | 37 | 44 |





