








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 219 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 263 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




83 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4897 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,862 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4313 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3057 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3713 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1779 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,193,224 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1292 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jork | 61% | 57 |
| #2 | Psirex | 55% | 137 |
| #3 | Deez | 49% | 126 |
| #4 | tinka | 44% | 192 |
| #5 | RLStormtrooper | 44% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Psirex | 55% | 137 |
| #3 | Deez | 49% | 126 |
| #4 | tinka | 44% | 192 |
| #5 | RLStormtrooper | 44% | 55 |
| #6 | Con..r | 37% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Psirex | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Con..r | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | jork | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | tinka | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Deez | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tinka | 377 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | Deez | 189 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Con..r | 179 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Psirex | 155 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | jork | 150 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Psirex v2 | +2.40 | 68 | 56 |
| #2 | Psirex | +2.02 | 84 | 35 |
| #3 | jork | -0.23 | 59 | 60 |
| #4 | tinka | -0.42 | 63 | 59 |
| #5 | RLStormtrooper | -2.52 | 58 | 39 |





